Here are a few selections from the Rules About Being a Superheroine from Barbie Barton (aka Queen B Superheroine) herself after she has grown out of her teenage years and have finally accepted herself as a superheroine.
Rule #1 How to Knock Out Your Enemy while maintaining Gorgeous Nails
Unless you use your nails as a weapon, the manageable length of your fingernails as a superheroine should be at most half an inch from the tip of your fingers. This is both practical, as well as attractive. By keeping your fingernails at a manageable length, you will not puncture yourself when you make a fist to punch the living daylights out of the undead or when you get a strong grip on a rope to pull yourself up the side of a mountain. A manageable length does not mean it is an unattractive length. At this length, you can still have a bit of a French manicure, and you can still color your nails a fabulous color to match your mood or outfit. One popular trend going on with superheroines is the painting of their particular symbol on their nails or simply placing nail decals on their nails. No matter how you color or dress up your nails, however, finish off your nails with a top coat of nail strengthener and clear nail polish. This helps protect your nails and make your manicure last longer.
Rule #3 How to Run Fast While Wearing Your Latest Manolos
Superheroines know its important to wear the right shoes to fit the right occasion. Being a fashionable superheroine doesnt mean putting away your brain. It means that you can still wear your Manolos and still get up and chase that elusive supervillain. But instead of wearing 4 inch spiky heels, you may want to wear kitten heels or wedge heels. Instead of wearing strappy barely there sandals, you may want to wear boots so you wont lose one of your expensive to-die-for sandals when you must suddenly give chase. If by all means you could not part from wearing 4 inch spiky heels or barely there sandals, plan ahead and bring an extra pair of shoes that you can run comfortably in. You may never know how long it may take you to catch that elusive supervillain.
Rule #6 How to Form Your Own Support Group
A superheroine who is smart knows she needs a strong support group in order to keep her focus. Without a strong support group of friends and allies, a superheroine can be tempted to join the league of the supervillains or misuse her own powers. After fighting all day with supervillains and working endlessly for the good of others in a constantly thankless job of defending the world, it is possible for superheroines to get burned out or to turn bitter. By cultivating a good support group of friends and allies you can trust with the truth of your superheroine abilities, you can develop a good system of check and balances of your own abilities. Plus, isnt it nice to be able to share your adventures with others and to dish about a particular supervillain to someone who cares? A girl needs to get all those pent-up emotions out somehow. Taking it out on a supervillain is nice, but sometimes sharing it with your friends can feel great too.
Rule #9 How to Smell Nice for a Date Even When Youve been Running, Flying, or Fighting All Day Long
Just one word: shower. Disguising odor with lots of perfume only brings attention to the fact youre wearing a lot of perfume trying to disguise your odor.
Rule #10 How to Politely Excuse Yourself When Duty Calls and You Must Run Off to Save the World
Almost every superheroine and superhero has faced this dilemma. Its almost expected since superheroines and superheroes try not to call attention to themselves as a superheroine or superhero when they are in a social setting. Unlike police officers who carry a police scanner with them and doctors who carry a beeper, superheroines dont usually carry a visible device that clearly signals to you and everyone else that you must be off to save someones life. Furthermore, most superheroines and superheroes lead double lives one as a social nerd, and one as a superhero. Take for instance, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and Wonder Woman. When duty calls, its almost always when you are dressed up as the nerd. To help solve this dilemma, you either accept who you are as a superhero and be a superhero 24/7 proudly (like doctors who wear their smocks and stethoscope everywhere 24/7) to signal your importance or you learn to lie convincingly about having to go home to check on the iron you left on, or that you are not feeling well, or you suddenly have an emergency at the office. If you have young children, you can also say you have to go home because of a sick child. It is a travesty, I know, that we superheroines must resort to lying about going off to save the world, however, the alternative is worst telling the truth, and risk sounding like an arrogant egotist with a superhero complex.
